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B. As explained (see What is yibum?), Yibum is not done today; chalitzah is the accepted alternative. But even chalitzah is quite rare, as the widowed sister-in-law and her brother-in-law must meet certain Halachic criteria before chalitzah can be considered.
C. Chalitzah involves a competent rabbinical court, the presence of the brother-in-law and the widow, two witnesses, certain Hebrew texts to be recited, and a really wild-looking leather shoe. All these are blended into a standardized ceremony, after which both parties are free to marry whomever they choose.
Chalitzah is quite rare, as the widowed sister-in-law and her brother-in-law must meet certain halachic criteria before chalitzah can be considered
1. Prepare to Qualify
The first step is an exhaustive examination of the obscure Halachot of chalitzah by competent authorities. They then are applied to the case at hand: do the parties meet the halachic criteria for chalitzah candidates? These
2. The Big Ceremony...
...actually isn't big at all. Probably doesn't take more than a few minutes. The widow and her brother-in-law gather on the premises while the officiating rabbinical team looks on. The brother-in-law sports a boot-like shoe that looks like something a Viking would wear--it has a noticeably clunky heel and long, crisscrossing laces. He wears it on his right foot. The widow reads selected verses from the Torah and other sources, all in Hebrew. These ceremonially describe the brother-in-law's reluctance to perpetuate his brother's name. When she's done, she performs the core of the ceremony: she unties the shoe's laces, completely removes the shoe from her brother-in-law's foot, pointedly tosses it onto the floor, and spits visibly in his direction. Immediately after the above, those immediately present recite a particular Hebrew statement, and the ceremony is complete.
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Life Cycle » Marriage » Divorce