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Do children follow the laws of mourning after the loss of a parent, G-d forbid?

by Rabbi Naftali Silberberg

  

Library » Life Cycle » Death » Mourning | Subscribe | What is RSS?

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Children under the age of bar/Bat Mitzvah do not practice any of the laws of mourning.1

There are two exceptions to this rule:

1) Young children do recite Kaddish for their deceased parent. The kaddish recited by children causes tremendous nachas to the soul in Heaven, and accelerates the process of the cleansing of the soul and its elevation to, and within, Paradise.

The kaddish recited by children causes tremendous nachas to the soul in Heaven
2) Children do tear their garments.2 This tearing is actually to arouse the feelings of the attendees. The mournful atmosphere is certainly intensified upon witnessing the pitiful scene of a young child rending his/her garments as a sign of mourning.

Footnotes

  • 1. There are halachic authorities who maintain that once a child has reached the "age of education in mitzvot" (this occurs anywhere between the age of six and twelve, depending on the intelligence and maturity of the child), there is an obligation to educate the child regarding the Mitzvah of mourning as well. The prevailing custom, however, is to follow those authorities who contend that all children are exempt from laws and customs associated with mourning.
  • 2. Only if they attend the funeral. A qualified rabbi and/or mental health professional should be consulted to determine whether it is wise for the child to attend this potentially traumatic ceremony.

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Bat Mitzvah
The twelvth birthday of a Jewish female. On this day -- customarily celebrated with a lavish party -- the adolescent reaches adulthood and is responsible to observe all the commandments of the Torah.
Kaddish
A prayer sanctifying G-d's name which is sprinkled throughout the daily prayers and is recited by the leader of the services. This prayer is also recited by mourners during the first year of mourning, and on the anniversary of the death.