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Judaism sees a dynamic relationship between family members in this life and beyond. A mourner says kaddish for his loved one, to assist their soul in its journey onward. Torah advises relatives to add Charity, Torah study and Mitzvah observance in memory of their deceased. The living family’s acts propel the departed soul ever higher.
This ongoing relationship is highlighted four times a year with the Yizkor prayer (See When is Yizkor recited? and Why is Yizkor recited on certain festivals?). Yizkor is a time to connect and feel close to a loved one who has departed.
Yizkor was introduced after the Crusades, when thousands of European Jews were murdered.
Yizkor was originally only included in the Yom Kippur service. At that time of the year, we atone not only for ourselves but for departed family members as well.1 Atoning for the soul reminds of its immortality- and our continued relationship with the departed. These souls rely on us to achieve atonement for them.
An important means of elevating the departed soul is through charity. With that in mind, Yizkor was later included in the services of Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot. On each of these festivals, we read of the importance of charity.2
Yizkor was introduced after the Crusades, when thousands of European Jews were murdered
Certain congregations include a communal Yizkor prayer for victims of the Holocaust, which the cantor sings aloud.
Yizkor is always recited after the day’s Torah reading.
Yizkor should be recited together with the community, at Shul. If one is too ill to get to shul or lives in a place where there is no Minyan , one may say Yizkor privately.4
Some people have the custom of lighting a yahrtzeit candle (from a pre-existing flame) before Yizkor is recited (except on Yom Kippur or when Yom Tov falls on Shabbat when the candle is lit before the onset of Shabbat or the festival). Some have the custom to light the candle in shul, while others light it at home.
People whose parents are still alive leave the shul during Yizkor. They cannot relate to this experience and their presence may detract from the communion. We also don’t want to insinuate that they have reason to be in shul at that time.5
A more intriguing reason for everyone to clear out is to make room for the departed souls, who join the service at that point.
During one’s first year of mourning, there are different customs regarding the recitation of Yizkor. Some say Yizkor, others leave the shul with those who did not suffer a loss, whereas some stay in shul and do not recite Yizkor.6 The reason for this discrepancy is because Yizkor is designed to remember the deceased. In the first year of mourning, little or no reminders are necessary.
Footnotes
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Holidays » Simchat TorahHolidays » Passover » AboutHolidays » General Information » Holiday InformationHolidays » Yom Kippur » The PrayersHolidays » Shavuot » Laws and Customs
