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Does a mourner have to switch places in the synagogue?

  

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Rabbi Naftali Silberberg: Hi. How can I help you?

InMourning: I just finished sitting Shivah after my mother, and I was informed that I must now sit in a different place in the synagogue. Is this correct?

Rabbi Naftali Silberberg: Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. May you only have simchahs in the future.

Rabbi Naftali Silberberg: Now to your question: Yes, as a sign of mourning, the mourner does not sit in his/her normal seat in the synagogue. This symbolizes that it's not just "back to normal"; life has changed and things will never really be back to where they were beforehand.

InMourning: That's so insightful... I hadn't though of it in those terms.

InMourning: How long before I can return to my regular seat?

Rabbi Naftali Silberberg: After the passing of a parent, you should wait twelve months - that's Jewish (lunar) months - before returning to your original place. After a sibling, spouse or child, you can return thirty days after the passing.

Rabbi Naftali Silberberg: Others have the custom of only changing places after the passing of a parent.

Rabbi Naftali Silberberg: btw, this rule only applies for weekdays. On Shabbat and Jewish holidays no public displays of mourning are allowed, so you always sit in your normal seat.1

InMourning: Thank you very much. As usual it's "Askmoses to the rescue"!

Rabbi Naftali Silberberg: Our pleasure. Come again!

All names, places, and identifying information have been changed or deleted in order to protect the privacy of the questioners. In order to preserve authenticity, the chat sessions have been posted with a minimum of editing. Please excuse typographical errors, missing punctuation, and/or grammatical mistakes which naturally occur in the course of informal chat sessions.

Footnotes

  • 1. This is the ruling of the Arizal which is followed by all chassidim. In other communities, mourners sit in their new "mourner's place" even on Shabbat.

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A Mourner changing places in Shul

Posted by: Yisroel, London, England on Jan 30, 2006

In many places, however, the custom is to change places even on Shabbos or Yom Tov. I am not keen on this custom (even though it is observed in my Shul) as it does draw attention to the fact that the person is in mourning.
Shabbat
(pl: Shabbatot). Hebrew word meaning "rest." It is a Biblical commandment to sanctify and rest on Saturday, the seventh day of the week. This commemorates the fact that after creating the world in six days, G-d rested on the seventh.