What is Jewish custom regarding splitting the costs of a wedding?

by Rabbi Naftali Silberberg

Library » Life Cycle » Marriage » The Wedding | Subscribe | What is RSS? PRINT EMAIL COMMENT Jewish law does not dictate the manner in which wedding costs are divided. The age-old Jewish custom in many communities, however, is that the groom's side pays for the photography (and videoing), flowers, alcoholic beverages and music. Everything else is paid for by the bride's family. It is customary for the bride (or her family) to buy for the groom Jewish books, and the groom (or his family) purchases jewelry for the bride (but not a ring - until the wedding). These rules are not set in stone, and are certainly "negotiable" depending on individual circumstances. ADD A COMMENT Please email me when new comments are posted (you must be  logged in). COMMENTS Splitting the costs of a wedding Posted by: D. Fyman, Canada on Sep 25, 2005 the 'official' comment is certainly out of date. the enlightened response is to say that costs be shared equally. Why put such a burden on the bride's family? there are no free rides in this world; each family pays for their guests. Other than that, mainstream has no requirement the bride pays. Editor's Comment 1. Usually, the cost to the groom's family is not much less than that of the bride's. 2. Obviously, if either family has greater financial resources, they will shoulder a bigger percentage of the cost -- despite the "custom." 3. The above isn't Jewish law, it is merely age-old custom. There is no problem if the two families wish to be "enlightened," and share all costs equally. read more less 'ancient custom' Posted by: Minky Pencil on May 23, 2006 just how 'ancient' is the custom of the groom's family paying for video? Editor's Comment It was instituted way back in the pre-historic days, pre-internet ages. read more less Email to a friend Post a comment cancel Loading...