Before we consider the radical new reproductive technologies, I think we need to reflect on our attitudes and ideas about reproduction in general. Why do we have children? What are our responsibilities as parents and, particularly, as Jews, in the reproductive process? At what point do our responsibilities to our children begin?

In that terribly misunderstood quote, King David says, “I was born in sin, and in iniquity my mother conceived me.” The Midrash¹  explains that King David was referring to his conception. At the time of his conception, his father believed he was with another wife, not David’s mother.

David was affected by this, and seeks forgiveness for his own failings which he attributes to the circumstances of his conception: his father was thinking of another woman at a time of intimacy with the woman who would be David’s mother. 

By Jewish law, a husband is required to move out of his house if he has decided to divorce his wife so as to prevent any possible intimacy between him and his wife. Because it is unhealthy, says the Talmud,²  for a child to be conceived in a situation described as “grushat halev” or divorce of the heart.

I would speculate that much of the unexplained dysfunction that we see in children may have its roots in the circumstances of their conception

In fact, the Talmud describes nine situations in which children are born harmed. Essentially, these are nine different circumstances where the parents are distracted or otherwise disinterested while conceiving.

And now mental health experts have established birth traumas as being responsible for various psychological problems. They trace certain hitherto inexplicable problems to experiences in utero, going back as far as conception.

Science is finding that fetuses do have incredible awareness, memory and perception, and while the experience of a fetus from its earliest formation will recede into the subconscious as s/he develops, these experiences do not disappear. They contribute significantly to the child’s perceptions and character.

So we cannot ignore the effect on the child who, for example, is conceived despite the hopes of the parents, in a moment of intimacy, that “we don’t get pregnant.” At the time when the parents are creating the child they are wishing that there would be no child.

I would speculate that much of the unexplained dysfunction that we see in children may have its roots in the circumstances of their conception. There are children who suffer from feeling unaccepted or unloved by their parents. They cannot point to anything their parents do or do not say or do, to explain this. But something was remiss in the focus of the parents at the time of this child’s conception.

With the new reproductive technologies, we are looking at the creation of a child in very mechanical ways, without benefit to the child of the focused intimacy between mother and father. In fact, some of the new technologies allow for the creation of a child with no intimacy at all between father and mother.

And other forms of assisted reproduction involve the contribution of not just one man and woman, but often of several, creating a lot of confusion, socially, legally and Halachically, as to who and how many real parents this child has.

The new technology gives us the power to create a physical body; G–d contributes the soul, and people who might never have been able to, can now experience the miracle of birth. But let’s remember that the miracle exists in any birth, even in reproduction that results from prohibited relationships. The forbidden mixing of certain species, for example, may successfully yield a new product. Obviously, that does not mean it is desirable.

This is achieved through the spiritual, emotional, and intimate connection between the two people at the time that they are generating new life and from which this new life will take its own spiritual, emotional and psychological strength. So the context of love, intimacy and unity between mother and father, in the creation of a child is terribly important to the child’s wholesome well-being. It is counter-intuitive to dismiss these factors in the make-up of the child.

Certainly then, a decision made a by a single woman who yearns for a child, to use these technologies to conceive and bear a child without a husband, is not a decision made in the child’s best interests. Only as a truly last resort, and only within the context of marriage, where halakhah permits it, and only when all of the ramifications are well understood, does it make sense to turn to these methods of assisted reproduction.

The context of love, intimacy and unity between mother and father, in the creation of a child is terribly important to the child’s wholesome well-being

According to Chassidic sources,³  both Isaac, the patriarch of the Jews, and Habakuk, the son of the Shunamit⁴  were born with souls from alma d’nukva or the feminine realm. It is interesting that both were born through extraordinary, holy circumstances, and even so, as men created from a feminine realm, they were lacking an essential spiritual component necessary for masculine life. 

It would likewise take the extraordinary, transformative experiences of the akeda, and the death-and-revival of the Shunamit’s son, for their souls to be made whole. The unnatural conditions by which these individuals were conceived would require “correction”⁵  later in life. All the more so our cause for concern when this takes place in situations that are decidedly less than holy.

The “garments” of the soul, as described in the Zohar, that are affected by the circumstances of conception may benefit and be healed by absorbing holy images. In anticipation of these confusing times, when Jewish life is so misunderstood and neglected, and children are born with all sorts of unwanted and unwarranted factors, Chassidism offered an antidote in the practice of Chitat—an acronym for Chumash (Torah), Tehillim (Psalms) and Tanya.

Just by reading the words, by absorbing the images of those letters and those words and those paragraphs in daily segments, the negative repercussions of assisted reproduction may be corrected. The Torah letters—the letters of the Chumash, the revealed part of Torah, heals the outer layer; the Tehillim, composed of David’s heartfelt outpouring, heals the heart; the Tanya—the esoteric, or deeper layer, heals the soul.

In the best of times, we need to take strength from our spiritual resources. This is especially true in these precarious times, when it is ever harder to raise children sound of mind and soul and body.

Originally printed by Wellsprings Online, www.e-wellsprings.org.

Copied with permission from www.mikvah.org.