Askmoses-A Jews Resource
What is the difference between Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews?
Browse our archives

The Scholar is ready to answer your question. Click the button below to chat now.

Scholar Online:

Type in your question here:

Click the button below to either CHAT LIVE with an AskMoses Scholar now - or - leave a message if no Scholar is currently online.


Conversion out of love for a fiance.


Library » Jewish Identity » Conversion | Subscribe | What is RSS?


Mrs. Shaffer: can I help you?:)

Gabi: Hi, I am Jewish and in love with a Moslem. He is willing to convert to Judaism. Would he be able to?

Mrs. Shaffer: he is ready to convert to Judaism for love of you?

Gabi: yes, he is, but i am afraid the rabbis will not believe him because he's an arab

Mrs. Shaffer: rabbis are not bigoted

Mrs. Shaffer: but, if he is so in love that he is ready to change his religion to yours then he should be told that this is not the path to a valid conversion

Mrs. Shaffer: this is something you have to know...the rabbis likely not want to hear of a conversion that's based on love for another person

Mrs. Shaffer: unlike other religions where it's ok to simply say you'll do what the religion requires, Judaism requires that the relationship of a person to Judaism is solely about his connection to G-d... not about any other person

Gabi: but I want to be with him

Gabi: why is our religion so narrowminded? I am sure that G-D isn't of the same opinion

Mrs. Shaffer: our religion is narrowminded?

Gabi: yes!

Mrs. Shaffer: interesting thing you should say...

Mrs. Shaffer: after thousands of years of human history, ours is the only religion that allowed all people to serve G-d as they pleased

Mrs. Shaffer: we didn't do mass murders in order to get others to convert o Judaism

Mrs. Shaffer: nor did we ever say that being Jewish is the only way to Heaven

Mrs. Shaffer: what we say is that for a Jew, Judaism is the path to connection with G-d

Mrs. Shaffer: and if someone's not Jewish, there is no reason or desire on the part of Judaism that they convert to Judaism

Mrs. Shaffer: in fact, it's very much discouraged

Mrs. Shaffer: so what about Judaism makes it 'narrowminded'??

Gabi: not being able to marry the person one loves.

Mrs. Shaffer: oh... it's because it says that what you, Gabi, wants is not allowed?

Mrs. Shaffer: let me ask ou something:

Mrs. Shaffer: what if you found out that by some quirk of fate your beloved is actually your brother?

Mrs. Shaffer: would you be saying Judaism is narrowminded because you can't marry the prerson you love??

Mrs. Shaffer: what if my daughter said to me that there's no one she loves more than her brother

Mrs. Shaffer: would that constitute 'narrowmindedness' on the part of Judaism -- that incest is forbidden?

Gabi: no, because that's an ethical issue

Mrs. Shaffer: and this ethical issue is derived from....?

Gabi: i guess the Torah

Mrs. Shaffer: so....the 'narrowminded' religion that has informed the entire civilized (and even uncivilized) world of ethical issues....

Mrs. Shaffer: :)

Mrs. Shaffer: valid conversion to Judiasm must be based solely on the person's desire to convert regardless of anyone else

Gabi: how can I convince him that Judaism is the only true religion for him as he is not religious at all

Mrs. Shaffer: you can't convince him of's not true! 

[Ed. note: see also If intermarriage is not desirable why can't my fiance convert simply and quickly? and "Why should I choose an Orthodox conversion?"]

All names, places, and identifying information have been changed or deleted in order to protect the privacy of the questioners. In order to preserve authenticity, the chat sessions have been posted with a minimum of editing. Please excuse typographical errors, missing punctuation, and/or grammatical mistakes which naturally occur in the course of informal chat sessions.


Please email me when new comments are posted (you must be  logged in).


Best of AskMoses » Jewish Identity

Torah is G–d’s teaching to man. In general terms, we refer to the Five Books of Moses as “The Torah.” But in truth, all Jewish beliefs and laws are part of the Torah.
It is forbidden to erase or deface the name of G-d. It is therefore customary to insert a dash in middle of G-d's name, allowing us to erase or discard the paper it is written on if necessary.