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If intermarriage is not desirable, why can't my fiance convert simply and quickly?

by Mrs. Sara Esther Crispe


Library » Jewish Identity » Conversion | Subscribe | What is RSS?


Judaism does not seek converts and initially discourages potential converts. Only those who are truly sincere and have the proper motives are accepted as righteous converts. The “test” for knowing if someone is truly committed to converting, is if he or she is dedicated to learning the Torah and to living according to its laws and lifestyle.

Converting to please a partner, or more likely, the partner’s family, is clearly not a conversion motivated by a true commitment to Torah and living a Jewish life. The litmus test is simple: would this person honestly be willing to undergo the difficult process of conversion (and the subsequent challenges of living a Jewish life) if the relationship ended.

Converting to Judaism is not a one-day event, it is a life-long change and commitment. One can only do this if he or she feels strongly about the importance of accepting the responsibilities -- as well as the inherent rewards -- of being Jewish. This would be someone who has already spent significant time learning and studying the Torah, and has chosen, on his or her own, to pursue to conversion process.

This is not to say that no one has ever come to learn about Torah or decided to convert for the right reasons, even though the initial incentive may have been for another. But it is essential to ensure before the conversion take place, that it is being done completely for the individual and not for anyone else. If not, the person most likely has an ulterior motive, and becoming Jewish is not it.

Also read about Why should I choose an Orthodox conversion?


Please email me when new comments are posted (you must be  logged in).



Posted by: Nathan, Shaftesbury, Dorset, UK on Jun 05, 2006

Hi, I`m Nathan. I`m 15. The really simple answer is that to convert to Judaism just because you want something is like trying to bribe G-d. You`re saying to G-d, in effect, that you`ll pretend to be a Jew if you get what you want, which is to marry whom you wish to. We are too used to having what we want in life, doing a deal, paying money to get it, changing the rules to get what we want, we think we`ve a RIGHT to have it.... So then we try to do a deal with G-d as well!! A crooked deal at that!! "I`ll be a Jew if you, G-d, let me have what I want"! It`s like saying, "I`ll love you if you pay me." Another point is you dishonour yourself as well because you`ll always know in your heart that you are a fake Jew, just someone who converted to get something. The sincere conversion is the one where the person does not do it to gain a wife or husband!!


Jewish Identity » Non-Jews » Intermarriage
Life Cycle » Marriage » Intermarriage

Torah is G–d’s teaching to man. In general terms, we refer to the Five Books of Moses as “The Torah.” But in truth, all Jewish beliefs and laws are part of the Torah.