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Is it ok for a Jewish woman to marry a black Muslim guy?

  

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Rabbi Shlomo Chein: Welcome. I'll be with you in a moment...what's on your mind?

Jill: hi, how bad would it be for a jewish woman to marry a black man who has converted to islam?

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: Any Jew marrying any person who is not Jewish is against the will of G-d

Jill: but why should we be different? G-D made us all as his children no?

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: sure he did - but what does that have to do with marriage.

Jill: well why should we discriminate against other religions

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: who said this has anything to do with discrimination

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: Marriage is a union, a bond, a merging of two halves of one soul. Either they are a match, or they are not a match. This has nothing to do with political correctness or proving equality.

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: if you don't want to discriminate, then be kind to all people, hold the same standards for all people, don't hate anyone based on color etc.

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: But that has nothing to do with marriage

Jill: but we believe in the same things sort of

Jill: i feel connected with him

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: how old are you?

Jill: I am 24 he is 23

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: what is your background?

Jill: both parents from xxxxxxxx. basically traditional sort of jews. i went to a jewish high school and have learned a lot about the religion through trips etc about judaism

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: what does it mean to you that you are Jewish?

Jill: to me its about being a good person and kind to everyone (obviously within reason)

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: but what does it mean to be Jewish -- being a good person and kind is being a good PERSON, but what is a JEW

Jill: i like doing Kiddush and the idea of Shabbat - i have a lots of religious friends

Jill: 10 commandments?

Jill: i dont know being connected with G-D?

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: this is not a text book question :-) so I don't have the answer for YOU. YOU have the answer for you. What does it mean TO YOU to be Jewish

Jill: i pray every night and say a blessing every time i eat - these things keep me in touch but if i wasnt jewish i would still pray in the same way

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: what does that mean

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: why do you pray, and to whom do you pray, and what does that have to do with who you are?

Jill: i pray to G-D and thank Him everyday for my life and the things i have. i say the prayers ive learned in hebrew which i originally thought would help me be more jewish but now i know even if i wasnt jewish i would be praying the same way everyday even if i would make them up

All names, places, and identifying information have been changed or deleted in order to protect the privacy of the questioners. In order to preserve authenticity, the chat sessions have been posted with a minimum of editing. Please excuse typographical errors, missing punctuation, and/or grammatical mistakes which naturally occur in the course of informal chat sessions.

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COMMENTS

intermarriage

Posted by: Mansoor Iqbal, Lahore, Pakistan on Dec 18, 2005

Dear Rabbi I pity you! you are trying to cheat a young girl of her right to LOVE.

intermarriage

Posted by: PiperAnn, Kalamazoo, MI, USA on Jan 20, 2006

I do not think Rabbi Shlomo is trying to cheat this young woman out of the right to marry who she wants. The fact is clear she doesn't know what she wants at all. The young woman that he is speaking to doesn't understand what being a jew means and what it means to herself. As she gets older and IF she is willing to wait, she will realise not to compromise any of her beliefes and the standards God has set for our life to accomadate anyone. To do so is a violation against the very God she says she love. Like the Rabbi said wife and husband is either right for each other or they are not! To say you are willing to accept things about a person that is to be your life partner that don't totally agree with the way you live your life and how God wants you to live is selling out for less then you deserve and often times ends with broken hearts, broken dreams or you abandoning your own identity.

Fantastic explanation

Posted by: Michael Makovi on Jul 06, 2006

The rabbi's point is very profound - how can you choose your ideal match if you don't know who you yourself are?

Furthermore, logic dictates that when she finds out what it means to be Jewish, she will realize that she doesn't want to intermarry, without her ever having to be scolded about the great sinfulness or whatever of intermarriage. Therefore, this rabbi was able to put it on a totally personal level why she shouldn't intermarry.

Thank you rabbi!


A Jew marrying a black muslim guy

Posted by: naomi, toronto, ON, Canada on Aug 11, 2009

Rabbi, your responses to Jill were amazing!

I've been married for 25 years, and even though my husband and I came from the same Jewish background, marriage has been full of ups and down on all levels, even with regards to

religious doctrine, customs and traditions. But because our

goals have been the same, we've made it!

Jill, we as Jews strive to be a peace-loving people. We aim to

get along with all people, to love our brother as ourselves, and to create "Shalom Bayit". However, when we marry, we

are joining together with our soul-mate, creating a holy bond, and creating a union and eventually a family in the name of

holiness. This is much more than being good people. This is a very special bond with a higher purpose. And to achieve that,

to reach that level of love, of intimacy, and of ultimately

setting the stage for the future, we need to know that the

person we are with has the same things in mind. You might love this guy....but is he the guy to marry? Find out!


RELATED CATEGORIES

Jewish Identity » Non-Jews » Intermarriage
Life Cycle » Marriage » Intermarriage

Shabbat
(pl: Shabbatot). Hebrew word meaning "rest." It is a Biblical commandment to sanctify and rest on Saturday, the seventh day of the week. This commemorates the fact that after creating the world in six days, G-d rested on the seventh.
Chabad
Chabad, an acronym for Wisdom, Knowledge, and Understanding, is the name of a Chassidic Group founded in the 1770s. Two of the most fundamental teachings of Chabad are the intellectual pursuit of understanding the divine and the willingness to help every Jew who has a spiritual or material need.
Kiddush
Prayer recited at the beginning of the Sabbath or Holiday meal--both the evening and afternoon meals. This prayer, acknowledging the sanctity of the day, is recited over a cup of wine or grape juice.
G-d
It is forbidden to erase or deface the name of G-d. It is therefore customary to insert a dash in middle of G-d's name, allowing us to erase or discard the paper it is written on if necessary.