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I'm a Jewish girl and I want to marry a black guy...


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Mrs. Shaffer: can I help you?:)

Nina: hi

Mrs. Shaffer: hi :)

Nina: i have a really important issue to talk about

Mrs. Shaffer: ok

Nina: im a jewish girl, dating a goy [Ed. note: non-Jew]

Nina: hes black

Nina: i know its not accepted, and its causing a lot of conflict between me and my parents

Mrs. Shaffer: I imagine it must be

Nina: they tell me they don't accept him but im deaply in love with him

Mrs. Shaffer: how old are you?

Nina: 21

Nina: i just wish everybody could get along

Nina: and im having trouble with that because of his color

Mrs. Shaffer: it's because of his color??

Mrs. Shaffer: or because he's not Jewish?

Nina: his color

Mrs. Shaffer: then you're dealing with racism

Nina: because he would have no trouble converting

Mrs. Shaffer: but that's not the real issue

Mrs. Shaffer: he's willing ot take on all the responsibilities of being Jewish?

Mrs. Shaffer: Shabbat, Yom Tov, Kashrut, Tefillin....?

Nina: yes

Mrs. Shaffer: etc...etc...

Mrs. Shaffer: with or without you?

Nina: yes

Nina: i think they r very close minded

Mrs. Shaffer: I don't know what to tell you about that

Mrs. Shaffer: Judaism doesn't recognize color, the real issue is that you're Jewish and he's not

Nina: exactly

Mrs. Shaffer: and this is huge...huge....and crucial to your life

Nina: its killing me inside

Nina: my mother just arrived but she would never accept... she needs explanations about this

Nina: is it that bad to be in this relationship?

Nina: what is the best way to approach this topic?

Mrs. Shaffer: speak to a rabbi

Mrs. Shaffer: speak to someone whom you respect

Nina: because i dont want to be disrespectfull toward my parents

Mrs. Shaffer: have you someone you can talk to? have you been discussing this with anyone?

Mrs. Shaffer: or are you dealing with this alone?

Nina: mostly alone, ive tried contacting the rabbi that was my teacher back in high school but i have no response yet

Mrs. Shaffer: tell me a bit about yourself...ok? :)

Nina: ok, what would u like to know?

Nina: i grew up in a modern semi-religious family

Mrs. Shaffer: ok...

Mrs. Shaffer: schooling...?

Nina: i was always around different nationalities

Nina: went to a jewish school for the most part but currently in university

Nina: i guess i just have more of an open mind

Nina: but now that my relationship with this man is serious, and because he's black makes it difficult

Nina: i believe its more a matter of color than anything else, and i just dont see it that way

Mrs. Shaffer: your'e right about that

Mrs. Shaffer: color isn't the issue at all

Mrs. Shaffer: not in any even remote way....except for hate issues of bigotry which are antithetical to Judaism :)

Mrs. Shaffer: but a very, very large issue is his being not Jewish :)

Nina: does it make me less of a jew because my boyfriend is black??

Mrs. Shaffer: so this is really what you have to give a great deal of thought to

Mrs. Shaffer: what city are you in? :)

All names, places, and identifying information have been changed or deleted in order to protect the privacy of the questioners. In order to preserve authenticity, the chat sessions have been posted with a minimum of editing. Please excuse typographical errors, missing punctuation, and/or grammatical mistakes which naturally occur in the course of informal chat sessions.


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Jewish Identity » Non-Jews » Intermarriage
Life Cycle » Marriage » Intermarriage

(pl: Shabbatot). Hebrew word meaning "rest." It is a Biblical commandment to sanctify and rest on Saturday, the seventh day of the week. This commemorates the fact that after creating the world in six days, G-d rested on the seventh.
Black leather boxes containing small scrolls with passages of the Bible written on them. Every day, aside for Sabbath and Jewish holidays, the adult Jewish male is required to wrap the Tefillin--by means of black leather straps--around the weaker arm and atop the forehead.
Chabad, an acronym for Wisdom, Knowledge, and Understanding, is the name of a Chassidic Group founded in the 1770s. Two of the most fundamental teachings of Chabad are the intellectual pursuit of understanding the divine and the willingness to help every Jew who has a spiritual or material need.
Laws of Kosher (Jewish dietary laws).
Prayer recited at the beginning of the Sabbath or Holiday meal--both the evening and afternoon meals. This prayer, acknowledging the sanctity of the day, is recited over a cup of wine or grape juice.
Yom Tov
Jewish Holiday.