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What's the Jewish view on second -- and subsequent -- marriages?

by Rabbi Naftali Silberberg

  

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For those who are seeking to tie the knot for the second time, here’s reason to be heartened: there are good grounds to be optimistic that the second time can and will be smoother than the first go-round. First marriages bring together two people who are “bashert”—share a soul connection—but occasionally may have clashing personalities, priorities, and/or ambitions. Second marriages present an opportunity to find a person who is compatible with your lifestyle.

Tip: Before beginning your search for the spouse who fits your lifestyle, take a moment to contemplate whether the lifestyle fits you…

In a situation where both spouses have experienced marriages which have been “broken,” it is advisable to give the second attempt a more modest introduction
That said, there are several differences in ritual and custom between first and subsequent weddings. Traditionally, the primary difference is the noticeable reduction in the pomp and festivities which accompany the marriage ceremony, as well as the reduced number of invited guests. The Talmud tells us that the First Tablets which were given to the Jews amidst exciting pageantry were eventually broken. Conversely, the Second Tablets were presented unpretentiously and without fanfare—and withstood the test of time. Thus, in a situation where both spouses have experienced marriages which have been “broken,” it is advisable to give the second attempt a more modest introduction.

To see an insightful and useful article written by a widowed rabbi who remarried, see: http://www.ou.org/.../SecondTimeAround.pdf

[Ed. note: The views conveyed on suggested links outside of Askmoses.com do not necessarily reflect the views of Askmoses.com, its scholars and editors].


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Life Cycle » Marriage » Divorce
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Talmud
Usually referring to the Babylonian edition, it is a compilation of Rabbinic law, commentary and analysis compiled over a 600 year period (200 BCE - 427 CE). Talmudic verse serves as the bedrock of all classic and modern-day Torah-Jewish literature.