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A non-Jew's perspective of intermarriage


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Mrs. Esty Davidson: Welcome. I'll be with you in a moment...

Amy: I converted to (Reform) Judaism and then married my Jewish husband. However, once I became pregnant with our first child I started to miss who I was and wanted to pass on all of my memories, beliefs and history to my children.

Amy: I no longer consider myself Jewish and have started going back to church. My husband is disappointed in this (I can understand why) and he's worried that our children are not considered Jewish because of this. We have agreed that we will teach them both Judaism and Christianity.

Mrs. Esty Davidson: i hear you

Amy: I have felt very unsettled about this for along time. I did convert with complete sincerity and at the time it did feel right for me. It's just that this is no longer the case. I know I should speak to our rabbi about this just to get it off my chest.

Mrs. Esty Davidson: I’ll be frank with you. True Conversion is more difficult and more complex than most people realize. It is often attempted for the wrong reasons and through the wrong settings. For example, a person should not convert for the sake of marriage, and a person cannot convert without accepting all of Torah in its entirety.

Mrs. Esty Davidson: You are not feeling Jewish because in essence you never became Jewish, and your essence is now feeling that. You are not deceiving yourself now, you and your children aren't really Jewish.

Mrs. Esty Davidson: and i don't see a point in raising confused kids.

Amy: I know that what you are saying makes sense.

Amy: I can see now why many people are against mixed marriages. And I think conversion in itself is something that needs to be examined very carefully and perhaps it should be made more difficult so that people think much more about the path upon which they're going to embark.

Amy: Thank you very much for your response. It's been helpful talking to you.

Mrs. Esty Davidson: you're welcome. it's been a pleasure

Mrs. Esty Davidson: and good luck

Ed. note: Also read "Why should I choose an Orthodox conversion?"

All names, places, and identifying information have been changed or deleted in order to protect the privacy of the questioners. In order to preserve authenticity, the chat sessions have been posted with a minimum of editing. Please excuse typographical errors, missing punctuation, and/or grammatical mistakes which naturally occur in the course of informal chat sessions.


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Jewish Identity » Non-Jews » Intermarriage
Life Cycle » Marriage » Intermarriage

Torah is G–d’s teaching to man. In general terms, we refer to the Five Books of Moses as “The Torah.” But in truth, all Jewish beliefs and laws are part of the Torah.