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How do I find a nice Jewish girl/guy?

by Rabbi Mendy Hecht


Library » Intimacy » Marriage | Subscribe | What is RSS?


Funny you ask—a lot of people have been asking that question.

Firstly, ask yourself: am I looking for whatever rocks my world? Whoever crosses my path? Or do I know what I want?

Imagine you lost your arm. You know what it looks like. It’s part of you. You can describe it in detail. You spare no time, effort, or expense to find it. It’s like a lost treasure. You need it back in your life to be whole.

A husband and wife are two halves of one body. Your “missing” spouse is your missing part.

Picture Him. Or Her. Describe Him/Her in writing. Create a real list. Use real paper. Be specific, but avoid Mr./Ms. Perfect. List what you require. List what you reject. Concentrate on character. Then e-mail/call/tell five friends and/or matchmaking professionals. Convey The Description. Have them e-mail/call/tell five friends and/or matchmaking professionals. Network. Someone will know Someone. Have someone introduce Someone to you.

Your “missing” spouse is your missing part
Repeat if unsuccessful. Be willing to repeat frequently. Be willing to travel. Be willing to shred your schedule. After all, you’re not looking for someone else. You’re looking for part of you.

Another method: to find Jews, go where Jews go. Synagogues, shuls and social halls abound aplenty on college campuses and in communities all across the U.S. of A. Find your nearest one at Contact them for the next event. Attend. Keep your eyes open. Better yet, ask the rabbi. Tell him why you’re really there. He’d love to help. And while you’re there, be your lovable self. Make friends and Network. Who knows? You just may meet Someone directly.

Above all, never give up. Every match is made in Heaven, and until you meet, your Jewish angel is out there, waiting for you.

(There are also some Jewish singles websites out there that you might want to check out, but you probably knew that already.)


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How Do I Meet Him?

Posted by: CharlestonChewi, Washington DC, District of COlumbia, USA on Dec 06, 2006

Please read this......... I hope no one has this problem.

I read the nice little article about finding your match.... I've met him, too.

BUt he's married. What's a girl to do? THis has been going on for over 10 years. I don't know what to do !

Any advice would be appreciated as i know i am going to hell anyway.

Editor's Comment

It is extremely difficult to get over seeing someone you love commit to a relationship with somebody else. However, the fact that you love him and think he is your perfect match does not mean that he is technically the only one you could marry, that fact that he is married to someone else is a clear indication that there is someone else out there for you, someone that you might not know as of yet, somebody who is more of what you want, need and love. Before you make a hasty decision as to whether or not you're going to hell see "Does Judaism believe in Heaven and Hell?" (


Posted by: danielle, Germany on Jan 25, 2007

but normally you just go to your favorite rabbi and tell him that you want to marry and he finds you a husband that's so cool = )


Life Cycle » Marriage » Courting

Chabad, an acronym for Wisdom, Knowledge, and Understanding, is the name of a Chassidic Group founded in the 1770s. Two of the most fundamental teachings of Chabad are the intellectual pursuit of understanding the divine and the willingness to help every Jew who has a spiritual or material need.