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Will mikvah make my marriage better?

by Rabbi Baruch Emanuel Erdstein

  

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The nature of all living entities involves renewal, movement, and change. Species of birds migrate, trees change with the seasons, tissues regenerate, and even oceans have their ebb and flow. In addition, all healthy vibrant relationships have their phases, their ups and downs, periods of intimacy and times of relative distance. Each new cycle is an opportunity to reach new levels of growth. By consciously connecting to these natural rhythms, we tap into the nature of renewal itself and can utilize it to enrich our lives and our relationships.

By observing the laws of Family Purity, including periodic abstinence from physical intimacy and ritual immersion in a Kosher Mikvah right before relations are permitted, a couple is in constant state of renewal and growth. The time spent apart provides an opportunity for partners to "connect" in a different way, developing communication skills, as well as give each one personal space of his/her own. In addition, the anticipation of reunification essentially creates a new romance every month or so.1

Fulfilling the mitzvahs of Family Purity brings a sense of sanctity and a feeling of higher purpose into the most intimate aspects of our lives. This consciousness permeates the rest of the relationship and brings a couple to a new level of awareness of G-d, the One who ultimately creates marital harmony. Thus, the mikvah is a means by which a couple becomes more united – and through which they unite the forces of heaven and earth, as well.

Footnotes

  • 1. There is no magical remedy for a successful marriage. Mikvah is a great, and proven, enhancer; but a marriage needs constant care and loving attention to all its dimensions.

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RELATED CATEGORIES

Life Cycle » Marriage » Family Purity » The Benefits

Kosher
Literally means "fit." Commonly used to describe foods which are permitted by Jewish dietary laws, but is also used to describe religious articles (such as a Torah scroll or Sukkah) which meet the requirements of Jewish law.
Mikvah
A ritual bath where one immerses to become spiritually pure. After her menstrual cycle, a woman must immerse in the Mikvah before resuming marital relations.
G-d
It is forbidden to erase or deface the name of G-d. It is therefore customary to insert a dash in middle of G-d's name, allowing us to erase or discard the paper it is written on if necessary.
Family Purity
Laws relating to intimacy between husband and wife. The primary point of Family Purity is the woman's purifying immersion in a ritual bath which allows the couple to resume intimate relations after the woman's menstrual period.