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Which parent chooses the names of the children?

by Rabbi Naftali Silberberg

  

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There are different customs regarding the right of naming the first child. In some communities it is considered the father's right to choose the name for the first child, the mother chooses the name for the next child, and then they trade off naming the following children.1 In other communities, the opposite custom prevails: the mother selects the name of the first child, then the father, etc.

No matter the custom, the giving of the name should always be with the full agreement of both parents
Obviously, this only applies if there is no clear choice. If, for example, one spouse is missing a parent and the other spouse's parents are alive, then the above mentioned customs do not apply.

No matter the custom, the giving of the name should always be with the full agreement of both parents.

In Scriptures we occasionally find that the children were named sometimes by the father and sometimes by the mother. For example, regarding the tribes it is written "and she called his name..." In fact, all the names of the tribes (except Benjamin) were given by their mothers.2  We also find in Scriptures children named by their father, such as Jacob.

Footnotes

  • 1. The Rebbe wrote to someone, that in places where there is no established custom, this custom should be followed.
  • 2. Possibly the reason why the tribes were named by Rachel and Leah is in keeping with the teachings of the Sages (Beraishit Rabbah, end of 72.) "the Matriarchs were prophetesses and the Patriarchs were inferior to them in prophecy" Also, the names of Isaac and Esau were apparently given by Sarah (Genesis 21:6) and Rebecca (Rashi, ibid. 25:26).

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RELATED CATEGORIES

Life Cycle » Birth » Jewish names
Life Cycle » Circumcision » Jewish names
Jacob
Third of the three Patriarchs and father of the Twelve Tribes. Lived most his life in Canaan and died in Egypt in 1505 BCE. Also known by the name of "Israel."