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How do I not hate an "unlikable" person?


Library » Jewish Identity » Love thy Neighbor | Subscribe | What is RSS?


Rabbi Shlomo Chein: Welcome. I'll be with you in a moment...what's on your mind?

Dinah: thanks for taking my question - it seems like a busy night :)

Dinah: How do I not hate a person who is not nice -- manipulative, immature, uses people, etc.

Dinah: (I am trying not to have hate in my heart, as I know this is bad for the soul)

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: 1) you can dislike the action, you don't have to dislike the person

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: 2) You can judge the person favorably and think of reasons why the person might be that way, reasons that are not really his/her fault

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: 3) You can realize that everyone has faults and you wouldn't want people to hate you for yours

Dinah: I see

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: :-)

Dinah: and at the same time, I don't have to 'take' this person's 'abuse' (verbal), but still I can perhaps think, this is still a jewish soul, and his actions are bad

Dinah: (he's a coworker)

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: it is not easy, but work on it

Dinah: yes it's not easy - I still can tell him to talk to me when he's ready to talk to me when he's in a calm way - but I'm trying not to hate him....

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: it looks like you have it all figured out :-)

Dinah: yes....Hashem is testing me.... :)

Dinah: thanks, have a good night

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: you too

Dinah: leila tov.....

All names, places, and identifying information have been changed or deleted in order to protect the privacy of the questioners. In order to preserve authenticity, the chat sessions have been posted with a minimum of editing. Please excuse typographical errors, missing punctuation, and/or grammatical mistakes which naturally occur in the course of informal chat sessions.


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Mitzvot » Love thy Neighbor

"The Name." Out of respect, we do not explicitly mention G-d's name, unless in the course of prayer. Instead, "Hashem" is substituted.
Daughter of Leah and Jacob. She was abducted by Shechem, but was rescued through the heroism of her brothers Shimon and Levi