The Talmud¹ says that before you are born a ministering angel gently carries your fetal form before the Throne of Glory and asks what will be with you. G-d decrees many things — your talents, your personality, your state of health, and your monetary net worth. As a matter of fact, even your soul mate is already announced by name before you are born.²

However, the Talmud concludes "except for the fear of heaven" for that is up to you. G-d never decrees whether you will go out and search for a spouse or not. That’s a Mitzvah, and that’s up to you. Neither does He decree whether you will use your talents for good purposes or for bad, direct your personality traits in positive or negative channels, squander your money on toys and fancy clothes or to support worthy causes and needy people.

At the end of the day, regardless of life's challenges and circumstances (which we can't control), it is entirely up to us whether we will be good, moral, and G-d fearing people.

But there is more: even the preordained can be changed, albeit not by our own volition, but through turning to G-d. As we say in the high-holiday prayers "repentance, prayer and charity avert the severity of the [Heavenly] decree", and King Solomon tells us that "charity saves from death."³