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Can I take revenge if I've been mistreated?

by Rabbi Mendy Hecht

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A. To be or to be? Out of the question. Negative Mitzvah #304 says “don’t.” Example: if you ask me for my car, and I say no, you may be miffed—OK, you may be royally peeved. Especially if I’m your friend. Now, I come along the next day and inquire, “Say, Jim? Mind if I borrow your truck?” How would you feel?

B. Here’s why many of the ethical Mitzvahs center around Ahavat Yisrael: normally, you’d serve up a plateful of revenge, complete with relish, when responding to the above situation. Something like: “Well, well… just look who’s asking for favors! Hey, remember when I asked you for your car? Gee, pal, today’s just not your lucky day. I’ve, uh, got to run over my son's new baseball glove.” But with the love and unity of Ahavat Yisrael, you remember that you’re in the same boat, and that you don’t hurt each other, even if you’ve got a good excuse to.

with Ahavat Yisrael, you remember that you’re in the same boat, and that you don’t hurt each other, even if you’ve got a good excuse to

C. You can’t even give your friend your car, informing him as you do that “I’m better than you; I can do you favors when you can’t do the same for me…” That’s bearing a grudge, which is no-no number #305.

How can I take revenge?

1. Go straight ahead

Halachah actually advises you what to do if you really want to get even: Walk straight along the path of goodness, letting nothing derail, detour or distract you.

2. Show ‘em you’re made of better stuff

Make like a horse—don’t let that little bug bug you. Just ignore him. Then, be very, very nice to him. Cram as many favors as you can down the dumb idiot’s throat. Treat him like a king. Don’t let anything he says or does get to you; don’t bite any of his bait.

3. Watch the results come in

After a while, he’ll conclude “Nothing I do gets to this guy!” and one of two things happens: he either lets go of you, or he becomes your best friend and closest ally. Either way, you win.

TAGS: revenge

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option 2

Posted by: Joel, VA on Aug 25, 2006

The second option; *use with caution*

"Cram as many favors as you can down the dumb idiot’s throat. Treat him like a king."

Can cause more problems and anger. If this person has no sense of right or wrong and feels superior or like they are entitled to being treated like a king. They will want more favors not even see them as favor but something you should do. They begin making demands. Not all people think about other people. Some people can't appreciate or notice the good acts or things right in front of them.

We have all seen people that were treated like Kings or who were kings or in positions of power and it went to their heads making them worse.

You will be abused and used being even more angry than before.

If you place your hand on a stove and get burned you don't have to place your hand on it again to know what will happen. When someone does you wrong be glad that now you of a hidden danger and walk away.

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Mitzvah

(pl. Mitzvot). A commandment from G-d. Mitzvah also means a connection, for a Jew connects with G–d through fulfilling His commandments.

Halachah

Jewish Law. All halachah which is applicable today is found in the Code of Jewish Law.

Yisrael

1. Additional name given by G-d to Patriarch Jacob. 2. A Jew who is not a Kohain or Levi (descendant of the Tribe of Levi).

Ahavat Yisrael

lit. "love of Israel," to love a fellow Jew.