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How do I stop looking at pornography?


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Rabbi Shlomo Chein: Welcome. I'll be with you in a moment...what's on your mind?

David: how do i stop looking at porn

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: Where do you look at it?

David: everywhere.... its like an addication

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: what do you mean everywhere! It is not in the synagogue. It is not in the grocery store!

David: TV, internet

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: so get rid of the TV - and get rid of the internet!

David: unfortonataly i can not because of the nature of my work

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: you need TV for your work?

David: yes

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: how so?

David: i own a xxxxxxx business

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: ok - before I go into more details let me explain three things:

David: sure

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: 1) In order to be helped you need to WANT to be helped. And WANT to be helped means ready to make changes, often big changes. Someone who doesn't want to change their diet can say all day long that they want to lose weight, however as long as they are not ready to make changes, they don't really want to lose weight. So step #1 here is YOUR mindset. If you want help, you need to be ready to make changes.

David: ok

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: 2) To put things in perspective: Your life is more important than your line of work. Porn is damaging to your life. Therefore "i need it for work" is not a valid excuse when it comes to endangering your life.

David: yes but i am supoosed to sell my bussiness

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: 3) There are possible ways to work with TV and internet and still not be exposed to porn... and that is what we will discuss in this conversation, but it is important to remember 1 and 2 first. You need to be ready to make changes, and you need to realize that ultimately your life is more important than your work!

David: ill try

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: ok. now let's start again, and see if we can come up with practical solutions

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: You know there is a problem, you WANT to fix it, and you know it is with regard to your very life and therefore extremely important

Rabbi Shlomo Chein: so now, what type of...

[Editor's Note: The rest of the chat -- which included discussion regarding internet and television controls and the importance of seeking therapy for this addiction -- has been deleted due to its personal and private nature.]

All names, places, and identifying information have been changed or deleted in order to protect the privacy of the questioners. In order to preserve authenticity, the chat sessions have been posted with a minimum of editing. Please excuse typographical errors, missing punctuation, and/or grammatical mistakes which naturally occur in the course of informal chat sessions.


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Intimacy » Sexual Issues
Mitzvot » Repentance
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