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How can I convey to my Catholic-raised grandchildren that they are Jewish?

by Rabbi Yosef Kantor

  

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jcd: My only child converted to become a Catholic and my two grandchildren are being raised Catholic. Although my daughter doesn't care if I give the kids Jewish books, how can I get them to understand that they have Jewish souls (both are girls) and that my daughter should let them experience a Shabbos with me?

Rabbi Kantor: How tragic. Do they visit with you in YOUR house at all? And by the way, are you Grandpa or Grandma?

jcd: I am the grandma and I get to see the kids when their father is at work (they live about 1.5 hours away).

Rabbi Kantor: First of all, it is critical to keep the relationship going at all costs. So you may want to tone down your Jewish influences a bit now, so that when the kids grow up a little they will be allowed to have contact with you--and then, you can at least impress upon them that they know they are Jewish. This way when the Chabad guy meets them someday, they will say "Yes" to the question: "Are you Jewish?"

jcd: Yes, thank you for that. My daughter does know some people in Palm Springs ... and she likes them (will attend a bar Mitzvah or party if invited there but I think it is because she was an only child). I keep telling my daughter that she is always Jewish and so are the girls, and she will admit that but says she is a practicing Catholic.

Rabbi Kantor: you must keep yourself in good health so that when the girls grow up a bit you can make an everlasting impression upon them

jcd: Thank you for your sage advice. I really appreciate this conversation and I wish only good health and happiness for your family. Good night!

Rabbi Kantor: Good night!


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COMMENTS

Jewish Souls

Posted by: Jemimah Simms, New York, Ny on Mar 04, 2005

I'm reading the Rabbi's reaction to this woman having a child convert and rasing her children with Catholisicm. I have nothing to comment on that, but I ask why must you call it tragic? I happen to be the product of inter marrying. I practice Judaism with as much knowledge as I have. I have to say that when you refer to this situation as tragic, you highly insult me and you may even be insulting many other people like me. It's not my fault that my parents fell in love and married and it would not be fair of you to blame my parents either. I understand you are a Rabbi, but not G-d. It is not your place to say if it is tragic. What about the word unfortunate? Let the parents and G-d decide if it is tragic. As a rabbi I think you should rethink the way you phrase some of your wording. It puts a bad taste in the mouths of people in my situation and it hurts; especially if we're following Judaism.

I agree with "Tragic"

Posted by: Jen, Ambler, PA on Mar 26, 2005

I think he was right in saying it is Tragic. With all the Jews leaving the faith, intermarrying ect., it is sad to see two Jewish girls raised Catholic. I think it is an amazing gift to be Jewish and I in fact LOVE IT.

Re: "Jewish" Grandchildren Being Raised Catholic

Posted by: Elisheva, Seattle, WA on Mar 27, 2005

Your response to this grandmother confuses me... Why is the woman's daughter (and by extension, her daughters) still considered to be Jewish after converting to Christianity? As I understand, this directly contradicts Jews-for-Judaism's contention that "Jews-for-Jesus" are in fact Christians, not Jews. If one is still considered a Jew after converting to another religion, thereby worshipping idols, eating treif food, etc; what does a Jew have to do to no longer be considered a Jew?

Editor's Comment

Catholic Granddaughters

Posted by: Anonymous on Jul 28, 2005

The rabbi's comment to this woman was not personal, it was a technique called "active listening." The Jewish grandmother feels it's tragic. She's very sad. To her (as to me), Judaism is such a treasure that is tragic to see her very own grandchildren turn away from it. So much of Jewish culture speaks of "l'dor-va-dor": from generation to generation the precious gift of Judaism is passed down--not just a religion, but an entire lifestyle, culture, and community. A people. To her, it's a tragedy. The rabbi empathized. Is this so unbearable for others to hear?

Bringing up a Jew as a Catholic

Posted by: Nathan Saunders, Shaftesnury, Dorset, UK on May 15, 2006

Hi! I`m Nathan. I`m 15.

My mother found out she`s Jewish four years ago, so I`ve been a Jew for four years!! My father is also Jewish.

My view is that it`s not right, when you know a child is Jewish, to try to make them into something else. The child has no choice when the parents decide to re-brand the child as a Catholic or whatever. Society thinks it`s fine to mix and match everything, take whatever you want, change it when you want, trade it in for something else when it suits you.....but all you get is one big mess. Children don`t have an identity if you mix them up. A Jew is a Jew. If you try to turn a Jew into a Catholic you still end up with a Jew, but a mixed up Jew. Look, here`s an example: You take a beautiful painting by a great master, it`s perfect, it`s a wonderful creation ......and then you decide you want something else so you paint it over, you create a new painting on the top of it.....Who would do such a thing?And to do that to a child?
Mitzvah
(pl. Mitzvot). A commandment from G-d. Mitzvah also means a connection, for a Jew connects with G–d through fulfilling His commandments.
Chabad
Chabad, an acronym for Wisdom, Knowledge, and Understanding, is the name of a Chassidic Group founded in the 1770s. Two of the most fundamental teachings of Chabad are the intellectual pursuit of understanding the divine and the willingness to help every Jew who has a spiritual or material need.