B. G-d is obviously not some despot who needs to hear little minions sing His praises daily. Tefillah is for us, not Him. Judaism addresses every little corner of life, and tefillah is Judaism's method of addressing the corner of self-improvement. When you rely on You, you self-destruct. But when you reach out to the Highest Power, you self-improve. Tefillah deepens your mind, enriches your soul, and enhances your spirituality. You can handle stress better, because you've got tefillah--a direct connection to the ultimate ISP (Infinite Service Provider). And although accessing G-d through that connection is only Halachah-mandated thrice daily, you can log in and say a few words to Him whenever you want.

C. Tefillah format is called "Nusach" in Hebrew, and there are several hundred nus'chaot (plural for formats) in circulation today, most with differences so microscopic that they're virtually undetectable. Four popular nus'chaot are Nusach Ashkenaz (traditionally used by European Jews), Nusach Sephard (traditionally used by many Chassidic groups), Nusach Eidot Hamizrach (traditionally used by native Middle Eastern Jews), and Nusach Ari (the Kabbalistic-Ari Format, developed by Rabbi Isaac Luria, a.k.a. the Arizal).

Tefillah is a direct connection to the ultimate ISP... you can log in and say a few words to Him whenever you want

1. The nitty-gritty

According to the Torah you could/should "connect" whenever you feel the need/desire. However, our sages instituted (at least) three fixed daily times for connection: morning, afternoon and night. The morning connection is called Shacharit, the afternoon connection is called Minchah and the night connection is called Maariv. These connections are ideally made in the Hebrew language (but can be recited in any other language you understand), and revolve around the words of the Amidah, with smaller statements made before and after. Shacharit takes about 35 minutes, minchah seven to ten minutes, maariv around ten. You'll need a prayerbook. And although you can pray at home or in most sanitary places, try to make it to a local Shul to pray with a Minyan (certain sections of the prayers can only be said with a minyan).  Women are exempt from time-related Mitzvahs so they are not necessarily bound by these fixed times and fixed prayers. See Is a woman obligated to pray thrice daily? and Pray Like a Woman).

2. Speak the lingo

When you visit the Emperor of Brooklyn at his royal court, you'd better speak a good Brooklynese. But with G-d: when you connect with Him, you can speak any language you want--not just Hebrew. All prayer-books are in Hebrew, but most have an English translation included. Of course it's better to learn Hebrew and pray in the original because of all the mystical powers of the Hebrew letters.

3. Stick to the script

 "Say the same thing every day? I can't do that!" But, question: how do you think those Broadway performers put on the same play night after night, year after year? Answer: anyone can read the lines once or twice--it takes a professional thespian to bring them to life again and again. That's why the Men of the Great Assembly assembled tefillah the way they did--with structure, order and routine: to teach us discipline, and to allow tefillah to work its self-improvement magic. Repetition forces you to make it count each time, to really work on the words and inject them with vitality, just like on the stage.

Related questions:

Why is it necessary to pray three times a day?