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Beauty and the Woman

by Rabbi Naftali Silberberg

  

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One of my wife’s recurring complaints concerns the dearth of closet space in our home. A reminder that all my clothing occupies a measly corner of one closet – comprising a small fraction of the home’s total closet space – invariably elicits a detailed explanation of a woman’s extensive wardrobe needs. Different seasons call for different styles, and each season requires its own set of elegant, casual, elegant/casual, work and Shabbat clothing…

Being a certified “outsider,” I am very intrigued by the close relationship the female gender shares with style, fashion, and beauty. Is this preoccupation a vice or a virtue? Furthermore, this female fixation isn’t limited to dress and personal appearance; it’s incredible how a woman will spend fifteen minutes decorating a platter of food which will be consumed in less than five! I wonder: does the Torah – our guide in every area of life – approve of this preoccupation with apparent vanity? Is there perhaps a deeper reason for a woman’s innate connection to beauty?

An understanding of the very purpose of the creation of the Jewish soul sheds light on the divergent natures of the sexes. For reasons completely unfathomable to the human mind, G-d desired a “dwelling place” in this lowly world. It is our task to take a world which is driven by the pursuits of ego, pleasure, money, and honor, a world which is utterly inhospitable to spirituality, and through the performance of Mitzvot to convert it into a royal palace for its Creator.

Does the Torah – our guide in every area of life – approve of this preoccupation with apparent vanity? Is there perhaps a deeper reason for a woman’s innate connection to beauty?
Constructing a palace requires master interior designers as well as skilled builders. A palace isn’t worthy of its name unless it is overflowing with exquisite furnishings, graceful tapestries, and costly pieces of art. Large bare rooms with tall ceilings are nice—but they can also be found at your local gym… The divine palace we are building also requires builders and interior decorators. While the mitzvot we perform accumulate and turn into the bricks, walls and ceilings of the palace, it is the beauty and warmth of these mitzvot which provide the handsome and elegant interior.

While men are busy laying the bricks, women infuse the palace with splendor and beauty. A beautiful Mitzvah is one performed with feeling, love, and pride; and it is the special mission of the Jewish woman to infuse her home with this beauty. It is the Jewish mother, with her instinctive gentleness and warmth, who teaches her child to revere and love G-d’s commandments. In short: the man creates the body; the women add the soul.

This concept is reflected in the three mitzvot which are the primary domain of women:

Shabbat candle-lighting: There are many mitzvot associated with Shabbat, but it is the candles lit by women and girls which lend an atmosphere of peace, rest, holiness and beauty to the holy day.

Family Purity: This special mitzvah instills renewed vitality and love into a relationship which can otherwise become stale. Routine married life suddenly becomes exciting and romantic.

Kashrut: Maimonides explains that we abstain from eating foods which originate from animals which possess cruel character traits. “We are what we eat,” so we only eat foods which stem from refined sources. The task of inculcating the household with a fine and beautiful character – and insulating it against “unattractive” influences – belongs to the woman.

Indeed, the woman’s passion for beauty is a reflection of her very essence and purpose. Bringing beauty into all areas of life – from the most spiritual to the most mundane – is her holy calling!


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Mitzvah
(pl. Mitzvot). A commandment from G-d. Mitzvah also means a connection, for a Jew connects with G–d through fulfilling His commandments.
Shabbat
(pl: Shabbatot). Hebrew word meaning "rest." It is a Biblical commandment to sanctify and rest on Saturday, the seventh day of the week. This commemorates the fact that after creating the world in six days, G-d rested on the seventh.
Torah
Torah is G–d’s teaching to man. In general terms, we refer to the Five Books of Moses as “The Torah.” But in truth, all Jewish beliefs and laws are part of the Torah.
Maimonides
Moses son of Maimon, born in Spain in 1135, died in Egypt in 1204. Noted philosopher and authority on Jewish law. Also was an accomplished physician and was the personal doctor for members of the Egyptian royalty. Interred in Tiberius, Israel.
Mitzvot
Plural form of Mitzvah. Commandments of G-d. Mitzvah also means a connection, for a Jew connects with G–d through fulfilling His commandments.
Kashrut
Laws of Kosher (Jewish dietary laws).
G-d
It is forbidden to erase or deface the name of G-d. It is therefore customary to insert a dash in middle of G-d's name, allowing us to erase or discard the paper it is written on if necessary.
Family Purity
Laws relating to intimacy between husband and wife. The primary point of Family Purity is the woman's purifying immersion in a ritual bath which allows the couple to resume intimate relations after the woman's menstrual period.