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I know intermarriage is wrong, but how can I break up from the person I love?

by Rabbi Shlomie Chein


Library » Jewish Identity » Non-Jews » Intermarriage | Subscribe | What is RSS?



Hi. I'm Jewish and my boyfriend is not. This is troublesome to me. He seems to have no intentions of converting, and I wouldn't want him to if he didn't believe in Judaism. But my religion is very important to me, and so are my values. I don't know what to do.  I know if I married him, and he didnt convert, my family would not be happy, and I would definitely run into issues in terms of raising kids. Any advice you can give me? Thanks so much.  


We often think that if we love someone we need to become closer to that person. But the truth is that love is also a reason to let go.

Parents for example will help their children go to college, get a job, and find an apartment, in order for the child to become independent and live on his own - without them.

This is not because they don't like the child; to the contrary, they love the child, and know that it is in every child's best interest to eventually become an independent adult.

This is a painful process and difficult transformation for many parents. But they go through with it... and do it with (and because of) love.

You obviously love your boyfriend, and I am sure he loves you. Love in your situation should cause you both to let go of each other.

This will be painful and difficult, but it is in the best interest of each of you to marry someone of your own religion. And since you love each other, you ought to do what is best for each other.

See also Why is it important for a Jew to marry a Jew?


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Life Cycle » Marriage » Intermarriage