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What's wrong with inter-dating?

by Rabbi Shlomie Chein

  

Library » Life Cycle » Marriage » Intermarriage | Subscribe | What is RSS?


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Question:

Is there any Halachah against dating a non-Jew (as long as u never compromise being Jewish)?

Sincerely,
Bob

Answer:

I am assuming you already know how important it is for a Jew to marry a Jew, and your question is regarding dating for purposes other than marriage.

There are two issues with that:

1. Halachah only allows dating for the sake of marriage1. Since it is Halachically forbidden to marry a non-Jew, it is also Halachically forbidden to date a non-Jew.

2. Halachah is cognizant of the fact that dating can ultimately lead to marriage even if that wasn’t the original intent. Thus, in addition to the general prohibition of casual dating, Halachah has extra prohibitions against casual inter-dating since it is can easily result in intermarriage.2

Common sense will also tell you that it is foolish to date someone, invest all that time, money, energy, and feelings, when the relationship has an obvious dead end; you can't get married.

No one would invest time, money, and energy in a client who they know could never purchase what they are trying to sell. You don't begin a deal if you know it is impossible to close.

Find a nice Jewish girl to date, a girl that one day might be your nice Jewish wife.

(You might want to read the book "Why Marry Jewish" by Doron Kornbluth, which has a chapter on dating as well).

Footnotes

  • 1. Igros Moshe Even Hoezer IV Siman 60
  • 2. Numerous laws were enacted in order to prevent this type of socializing/friendship which would lead to intermarriage. See Maimonidies laws of Forbidden Foods 17:9 and Talmud tractate Shabbat 17b, tractate Avodah Zara 35b

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RELATED CATEGORIES

Jewish Identity » Non-Jews » Intermarriage

Halachah
Jewish Law. All halachah which is applicable today is found in the Code of Jewish Law.
Halachically
According to Jewish law.