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What does the Torah have to say about spousal abuse?

by Rabbi Naftali Silberberg

  

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If you are referring to physical abuse, it is forbidden to hit any Jew. The basis of this prohibition is in Deuteronomy.1


As for emotional abuse, it is also forbidden to verbally hurt anyone.2


These prohibitions apply to every Jew, how much more so when we are talking about one's own wife! In fact, "our sages commanded that a person should respect his wife more than himself and should love her like he loves himself . . He should always speak to her nicely, and should not deal with her in anger."3

Great is peace, for [even G-d's] holy name which was written in sanctity and purity, is erased in water to promote peace between husband and wife!

One who harms or damages his wife is obligated, according to Halachah, to pay full damages.


"One should always marry off his daughter to a Torah scholar, for there is nothing indecent, nor are there any quarrels in the home of a Torah scholar."4


"Great is peace, for [even G-d's] holy name which was written in sanctity and purity, G-d commands: let it be erased in water in order to promote peace between husband and wife.5

Footnotes

  • 1. 25:3. See Sanhedrin 85a and Maimonides, Laws of Inflictions and Damages 5:1
  • 2. See Leviticus 25:17 and Baba Metziah 58b.
  • 3. Maimonides, Laws of Marriage, 15:19.
  • 4. Maimonides, Laws of Forbidden Relations, 22:32.
  • 5. Midrash Bamidbar Rabba 11:16 and see Numbers 5:23.
TAGS: wife abuse

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Torah
Torah is G–d’s teaching to man. In general terms, we refer to the Five Books of Moses as “The Torah.” But in truth, all Jewish beliefs and laws are part of the Torah.
Halachah
Jewish Law. All halachah which is applicable today is found in the Code of Jewish Law.
Deuteronomy
The fifth of the Five Books of Moses. This book is a record of the monologue which Moses spoke to the Israelites in the five weeks prior to his passing.
G-d
It is forbidden to erase or deface the name of G-d. It is therefore customary to insert a dash in middle of G-d's name, allowing us to erase or discard the paper it is written on if necessary.