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What is the Jewish view of planned parenthood?

by Rabbi Mendy Hecht

  

Library » Life Cycle » Birth » Reproductive Issues | Subscribe | What is RSS?

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A. The first divine commandment to the first finite human was to perpetuate the human race by having children. The power to create and perpetuate is a divine attribute in mortal beings. Let's use it.

B. A child is a blessing, and who doesn't want a(nother) blessing. Some times we might be inclined to hesitate because, like anything valuable, children come with a price. At least so we think. The reality is life is priceless.

C. Ultimately, procreating is a partnership with G-d, and an expression of trust in Him. Children cost too much? Worried about global overpopulation? That's where trust in G-d helps to iron things out. The excuse "I can't afford it" or "it's bad for Earth" melts in the face of faith. G-d is big enough to feed another child. (Starvation in the world today is a result of sociological issues, not agricultural capacity.)

Some times we might be inclined to hesitate because, like anything valuable, children come with a price. At least so we think. The reality is life is priceless.
1. Contraceptives

While having children is the ideal and applauded, restraining reproduction is not completely rejected in Judaism. In situations where the mother's life is in danger physically or psychologically or in a family filled with friction and dysfunction and in other specific situations, certain birth control methods may be used. Before beginning any form of birth control it is imperative to consult your local Halachic authority who will (consult with a physician when necessary and then) give you Judaism's final say on the matter.

2. Abortion

Like the above items, the rule is no, and the exception is yes. Abortion boils down to a question of ethics, and an abortion of convenience is at best an uninformed disregard for a precious, budding little life. There is a case, though, where Judaism actually requires abortion: When the fetus is determined to be a threat to the mother's life. As mentioned earlier, it is vital that an authority in Halachah be consulted, since each case must be weighed on its own.

If you'd like a convenient abortion, think about a convenient adoption--over 16% of couples (that's 1 in 6) have fertility problems and would be overjoyed at raising your child as their own, guilt-free.

3. Pro-creation

Now that we've talked about what you cannot do, you probably know what you can do. But don't just do it--make the most of your intimate relationship, and connect to your spouse on all levels--spiritual, emotional, personal and physical. Explore (and follow) the laws of Family Purity, it brings sacredness to the sensual.


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COMMENTS

Contraception

Posted by: Anonymous, Israel on Dec 27, 2004

It was my understanding that for the year or 2 following a birth, contraception is perfectly acceptable halachically.

Editor's Comment

A new mother who feels overwhelmed by her responsibilities and does not feel ready for another child just yet, should talk to a practicing rabbi. The rabbi will assess the situation, and if he feels that the situation warrants it, he will authorize the temporary use of birth control.

Birth control

Posted by: Anonymous, Brooklyn, NY on Mar 09, 2005

Perhaps this is just an urban legend, but I have heard people say that birth control is okay if a mother has already had at least one child of both sexes. Is that true?

Editor's Comment

It is true that already having a child of each gender is something to be considered when issuing a Halachic ruling on this matter, but it is urban legend that there is a general rule for permitting birth control. In Jewish law birth control is not an "over-the counter" option. It needs a Halachic prescription, and in each case rabbinical dispensation is required.

birth control

Posted by: Rivkah Chaya on Dec 30, 2005

Birth control:

Date Posted: Mar 09, 2005

"Perhaps this is just an urban legend, but I have heard people say that birth control is okay if a mother has already had at least one child of both sexes. Is that true?"

Posted By Anonymous, Brooklyn, NY

One presumes she means "One child of each sex."

When asked the minimum fulfillment of the mitzvah "Be fruitful and multiply," Rabbi Shammai said "Two sons." Rabbi Hillel said "A son and a daughter is enough."

It was always understood that this was for people who had situations of extreme difficulty. In modern Orthodox Judaism, women who have special difficulty with pregnancy (like diabetics) or couples who need to use very expensive means or artificial conception are obligated to have just two sons, or a son and a daughter, then may stop and use birth control if needed. I have this straight from an orthodox rabbi who does pre-marriage counselling.

Abortion

Posted by: Talia on Feb 10, 2006

Reading the ongoing discussion has been very interesting. I wish to say, however, that in every instance of every exception, a halachic authority must be consulted. As a woman cannot be a credible halachic authority in the ultra-Orthodox world, every decision is made by men. If the "separate but equal" rule would actually be actualized, then women would have their own halachic authorities to consult. But as it currently is, women must submit to a man's decision - a binding decision nonetheless - and therefore are of inferior status because there are no female authorities deemed credible to consult. Such generalizations of all women being "too emotional" to decide for themselves simply reinforce the concept of female inferiority.

Editor's Comment

I understand your feelings, and let me try to put things in perspective: First the notion that women are "inferior" or "too emotional" 1) The fact that Halachic rulings are issued by men has nothing to do with "too emotional" or "inferior". Judaism is a formulated divine system of roles, and generally speaking (there are and have been exceptions) men play the quantitative role of guiding communities (namely through Halachic rulings), and women play the qualitative role of guiding families. 2) In the realm of "separate but equal", why does one care which gender they receive proper guidance from; why does gender even enter the mind. The guidance or the message is what is important. Second, the notion that men are incapable of giving a fair ruling on this topic 1) To imply that men cannot make reasonable assessments regarding this issue is sexist in its own right. I am sure you know there are many male gynecologists, and marriage therapists etc. 2) Rabbis who deal with these issues are a) married with children, and are fully aware of the ramifications of having children, b) they have consulted with doctors and other women on these issues, and c) due to the nature of their jobs they have vast experience, which creates tremendous insight and sensitivity to this issue. 3) There is an online organization run by orthodox women that specializes in these issues. Check it out at "www.yoetzet.org"

(Disclaimer: The views conveyed on suggested links outside of Askmoses.com do not necessarily reflect the views of Askmoses.com, its scholars and editors.)

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Intimacy » Reproductive Issues
Halachah
Jewish Law. All halachah which is applicable today is found in the Code of Jewish Law.
Halachic
Pertaining to Jewish Law.
G-d
It is forbidden to erase or deface the name of G-d. It is therefore customary to insert a dash in middle of G-d's name, allowing us to erase or discard the paper it is written on if necessary.