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Welcome to the HIGH HOLIDAY HOTLINE

by Rabbi Israel Rubin

  

Library » Holidays » Rosh Hashanah » Essays | Subscribe | What is RSS?


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“Welcome to the Repentance Hot Line. Your call is very important. If calling during the Ten Days of Repentance when G-d is closer, this is a local call, instead of the usual long distance.

Press #10 now.

“During this time, you will hear one long note, three short beeps, nine shorter beeps, and a long note. This series will repeat several times, followed by a longer final note at the end.”

“For Ashkenazic pronunciation, bevakosho (please) press A. For Sephardic, bevakashah press S. You may use any language, as long as it comes from the heart.

“Repentance calls for patience and persistence. If you do not get through the first time, try again. If you still don’t get through, try again. Do not hang up!

“If you feel that you have reached us in error, this is the right place, for "to err is human, to forgive is Divine." This call is audio-visually monitored by 'The Eye that sees, the Ear that hears, and All your deeds are recorded.'

“If you feel that you have reached us in error, this is the right place, for "to err is human, to forgive is Divine."
“Your call may be interspersed with moving renditions of Avinu Malkenu and Kol Nidrei melodies. Lip service is unacceptable. If you are not serious, please hang up, try pressing 'Return' and call back again.

”To review your annual balance, here are some helpful numbers:

“For Mitzvot in general,
Press #613

“For a positive commandment,
Press #248

“For a negative commandment,
Press #365

“For Rabbinic laws use extension 7.

“In case of a bad connection, Press 1 for Teshuvah, press 2 for Prayer, and Press 3 for Charity to remove the bad decree.

“You may
Press 1 for G-d Is One,
M to ask for Moshiach.

“Press 0 to delete misdeeds,

“Are you sure you want to delete your transgressions at this time?

“If you sinned against another person, you must contact them first, and then call back after they forgive.

“If you sincerely regret past transgressions, but don't know where to begin, consult the Yom Kippur prayer book’s alphabetical Al Chet directory. Use right hand to press pound at each listing. Thanks to our special Teshuvah advantage program, all your debits are turned into credits."

“All transfers to charity will be fully credited to your account. Enter pledge now.

“Press #18 to contribute multiples of Chai.

“May you be inscribed for a GOOD NEW YEAR.

“Thank you, and please call again."

Rabbi Israel Rubin is Capital Chabad director in Albany NY, author of the Albany Haggadah and Pirkay Avot “Blossoms,” and editor of the Holiday Guide and The Torah Times. For more of his essays, visit Jewish-Holiday.com.


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RELATED CATEGORIES

Mitzvot » Repentance
Holidays » Yom Kippur » Repentance

Torah
Torah is G–d’s teaching to man. In general terms, we refer to the Five Books of Moses as “The Torah.” But in truth, all Jewish beliefs and laws are part of the Torah.
Moshiach
The Messiah. Moshiach is the person who will usher in an era of peace and tranquility for all of humanity when there will be no jealousy or hate, wars or famine. This is a fundamental Jewish belief.
Teshuvah
Repentance. Or, more literally, "return" to G-d. Teshuvah involves regretting the past and making a firm resolution not to repeat the offense.
Mitzvot
Plural form of Mitzvah. Commandments of G-d. Mitzvah also means a connection, for a Jew connects with G–d through fulfilling His commandments.
Yom Kippur
Day of Atonement. This late-autumn high-holiday is the holiest day of the year. We devote this day to repentance and all healthy adults are required to fast.
Chabad
Chabad, an acronym for Wisdom, Knowledge, and Understanding, is the name of a Chassidic Group founded in the 1770s. Two of the most fundamental teachings of Chabad are the intellectual pursuit of understanding the divine and the willingness to help every Jew who has a spiritual or material need.
Haggadah
Text read at the Passover Eve feasts. The Haggadah recounts in great detail the story of our Exodus from Egypt.
Sephardic
(adj.) A Jew whose ancestors stem from Southern Italy, Spain, Portugal, North Africa or the Arabian countries.
Avot
"Ethics of our Fathers." A tractate of the Mishna (original rendition of the Oral Law) which discusses Jewish ethics and piety.
G-d
It is forbidden to erase or deface the name of G-d. It is therefore customary to insert a dash in middle of G-d's name, allowing us to erase or discard the paper it is written on if necessary.
Kol Nidrei
A solemn prayer stating the annulment of vows recited at the start of Yom Kippur.