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Why wait until marriage?

  

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Mrs. Shaffer: Welcome......how can I help you?:)

whywait: I have a question: I am not promiscuous and I have never been. I really only want to have sex with the girl I love and who will be my wife when married. I love her so much and I am going to marry her (I promised this and I will keep it, and so did she).

whywait: why must I wait until the actual wedding, why can't we be intimate now?

Mrs. Shaffer: how old are you?

whywait: i am 39

Mrs. Shaffer: so what's keeping you from getting married?

whywait: basically nothing, but i met this girl only about 6 months ago and we have a wedding date scheduled for six months from now

whywait: i have been married before and my wife asked for the divorce

whywait: i tried to fix it with councelling, she didn't want it

whywait: so eventually i agreed to divorce, and only after that i met this new, lovely lady, i want to marry

Mrs. Shaffer: ok

Mrs. Shaffer: so that's great

Mrs. Shaffer: you have a time frame within which to get to know her all the better, and then you'll get married

Mrs. Shaffer: and then...when you're married....you'll enter into a relationship that sets your marriage apart from our premariage rlationship

whywait: yes

Mrs. Shaffer: the very fact of yoru intimacy will define you as married

whywait: i do understand

whywait: so in fact in that very moment we become intimate is the moment we eventually become married?

whywait: and the wedding is just the celebration of this very moment and its culmination point?

Mrs. Shaffer: you've got it kind of backwards :)

Mrs. Shaffer: it's when you sign a wedding contract/ when you are oficially, in the eyes of G-d and the world, a married couple...then you engage in intimacy

Mrs. Shaffer: that intimacy is exclusive to marriage

Mrs. Shaffer: that belongs only in marriage

whywait: but in the eyes of G-d a contract or a piece of paper is not the relevant point, isn't it?

whywait: is G-d not looking to our hearts and to the promise we made to each other and to each other's heart?

Mrs. Shaffer: let me ask you something?

Mrs. Shaffer: are you going to buy her a ring?

whywait: yes, and of course the most beautiful

Mrs. Shaffer: ok...so let me ask you a theoretical question:

Mrs. Shaffer: let's say you see a ring that's magnificent....she'd really love it.....and it costs way moe than you have .... and you know that some day you'll be able to pay for it....

All names, places, and identifying information have been changed or deleted in order to protect the privacy of the questioners. In order to preserve authenticity, the chat sessions have been posted with a minimum of editing. Please excuse typographical errors, missing punctuation, and/or grammatical mistakes which naturally occur in the course of informal chat sessions.

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Intimacy » Sexual Issues

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