Amanda: Hi.

Amanda: My B/F will not sleep with me, he says he may not, why not?

Mrs. Shaffer: Why not? Are you serious?

Amanda: Sure, he will kiss and cuddle but won't bed together, he says the Torah won't allow him to? Is that so?

Amanda: Is there a way we can?

Mrs. Shaffer: Yes, there is.

Amanda: ?

Mrs. Shaffer: Get married :)

Mrs. Shaffer: And...just for his information...he's not allowed to be kissing/cuddling either.

Amanda: :-} Why? We don't wanna get hooked yet...we both have busy lives :-(

Mrs. Shaffer: What do you do?

Amanda: Duty officer in a hotel.

Mrs. Shaffer: What do your duties entail? :)

Amanda: Managing the lounge and accommodation facilities a few times a week -- some nights and some days.

Mrs. Shaffer: can you be more specific? :)

Amanda: With?

Mrs. Shaffer: Like...if I were coming to the hotel...what would your duties be regarding me as a guest?

Amanda: Well, I would arrange for one of my staff to help u out the car, park it, then I would normally prefer to take u to the room myself. Of course at peak times I could only look after one at a time, settle u in, make sure u have everything, etc.

Mrs. Shaffer: Ah...nice :)

Amanda: Can be fun...sometimes!

Mrs. Shaffer: And I'd have to pay for this service...or, I suppose...it's part of the hotel room price...yes? (I'm sure you've got lots of interesting stories!)

Amanda: Part of the price. We try to please the guests.

Mrs. Shaffer: Ah...okay. So....let's see...I'd really love to come and spend a week at the hotel...I hope it's a nice one....

Mrs. Shaffer: So, if I were to come into the hotel...I can expect all of this service...yes? :)

Amanda: Yes. Generally.

Mrs. Shaffer: Okay...great. So, it'd be a nice room....nice bath/shower...TV....iron....and your services...? Yes?

Amanda: When I'm on duty.

Mrs. Shaffer: And do you have other facilities...like gym? Pool?

Amanda: Yes.

Mrs. Shaffer: I'm coming for a week...that's great!....and I'll expect to use all of that...

Mrs. Shaffer: The only thing.... just a small detail... of no consequence really, I'm sure.... the only thing is....

Amanda: ?

Mrs. Shaffer: I can't really make a commitment to paying...I've got lots of other things that take up my money, so I'm not really ready, at this time, to make this commitment to paying... that's okay, isn't it? I don't really know when my money'll be available for this....

Amanda: Well, no money no service.

Mrs. Shaffer: Hmm... Why not? I'd really, really love to have this relationship with your hotel and enjoy all of its services.

Amanda: We can't give u all for naught.

Mrs. Shaffer: So what' the big deal about money? Hmm...seems to me like you're saying that this particular service requires a commitment on my part... Yes?

Amanda: Even when my B/F comes in occasionally for an evening, if I give a room we have to pay... My boss can be a tight one! ;-)

Mrs. Shaffer: Amanda....it's not about your boss...it's about those pleasures that belong to us, and those that don't :)

Amanda: What do u mean?

Mrs. Shaffer: It's about everything having an appropriate place:)

Amanda: So?

Mrs. Shaffer: So....much as I'd love to enjoy your hotel...and you'd be happy to have me enjoy it, it can only be a relationship that's a committed one.....I commit to paying...you commit to service. Yes?

Amanda: Well, I said that even we have to pay

Amanda: Anyhow, what's the answer to my question?

Mrs. Shaffer: One sec... So our relationship is clear, I'm the customer, you're the hotel.

Amanda: Correct.

Mrs. Shaffer: And I can't say that I enjoy the gym, so let me just enjoy it. It can only be mine when it's rightfully part of a relationship that allows it.

Mrs. Shaffer: So... now in answer to your question: intimacy is for marriage. Period.

Amanda: Why?

Mrs. Shaffer: If you're not married, and enjoying each other...then it's outside of the rules of life because God said so. That's the rules :)

Mrs. Shaffer: Just like the rules of business guide you and me in my staying at your hotel, right?

Amanda: So if I'm not married ur tellin me no fun? :-C

Mrs. Shaffer: Oh...lots of fun :) But not physical intimacy. That's precious, and exclusive to marriage. It gets sanctified when you're married :) Get my drift? :)

Mrs. Shaffer: the thing is simple:

Mrs. Shaffer: you can be good friends, but... physical intimacy, that's for when you're married. It's what makes your relationship holy.

Amanda: I believe u, but maybe my relationship is holy?

Mrs. Shaffer: Not until you've gone to the Mikvah and stood under the Chupah. Then it's holy :)

Amanda: Well, I can't do that now, so I imagine it will have to be history. I can't have someone who can't have me!

Mrs. Shaffer: What do you mean?

Amanda: When I finish work I am whacked, and want to relax with someone. Not bowlin, shoppin, drinkin, etc., I want what my mates have -- a sexual life.

Mrs. Shaffer: Your mates? Great. Marry him. Simple :)

Amanda: He's got a job and so have I, so marriage is not an option this moment.

Mrs. Shaffer: Amanda, I can give you lots of reasons why I can't pay for your wonderful hotel facilities. But until I can pay, I can't enjoy the facilities, right? Even if I really, really need the relaxation, etc.

Amanda: Should I walk out?

Mrs. Shaffer: Walk out? What do you mean?

Amanda: Close doors here with him?

Mrs. Shaffer: Why would you want to do that? Is he only a sex toy for you? So that if you can't have that, you're not interested in him? :)

Amanda: No, but I want that as well.

Mrs. Shaffer: Can I use this same argument to enjoy your hotel without paying? I simply want it :)

Amanda: Forget that, is there no loop hole?

Mrs. Shaffer: First find me a loophole to come spend a week at your hotel without paying :) I'll even make my own bed and clean my tub... How about that? Not a lot of extra work for housekeeping...

Amanda: No.

Mrs. Shaffer: No? :)

Mrs. Shaffer: But I really want it.... :)

Amanda: Anyhow, any suggestions?

Mrs. Shaffer: Amanda, the relationship we enjoy with our beloved man...that is awesome....and precious...and holy....and exciting.....

Amanda: And?

Mrs. Shaffer: And sanctified, but reserved for that relationship that's a committed one, within the laws of Torah :)

Mrs. Shaffer: For something this wonderful, we wait and enjoy it in its proper place.....marriage.

Mrs. Shaffer: I know this is not what you want to hear....but it's the truth.

Amanda: I guess u know what ur saying.

Amanda: Mrs. Shaffer, I must say that ur great. You put it over so well. Now I start to understand all those questions u were asking.

Mrs. Shaffer: It's tough...I know. But, those things that are precious in our life....they're worth waiting for :)

Amanda: I guess we'll have to discuss marriage when he comes down tonight.

Mrs. Shaffer: Okay :)

Amanda: Not that I want it, but ...........................

Mrs. Shaffer: Well...I guess it's time to have this conversation with him :)

Amanda: How come I know people who sleep together and they r not married?

Mrs. Shaffer: I know people who go to hotels and don't pay :)

Mrs. Shaffer: That doesn't mean that it's the right thing to do....just because some people do it.

Amanda: OK.

Mrs. Shaffer: You do the right thing :)

Amanda: no choice!

Mrs. Shaffer: You've got the point!

Amanda: Thanks for your help.

Mrs. Shaffer: You're very welcome :)

Amanda: Hope it will be okay.

Mrs. Shaffer: It was nice talking to you. You'll make it okay :)