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The Soul Reason For Choosing a Mate

by Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh


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Adam and Eve were created on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.1 Our Sages2 teach that they were created as 20-year olds in the Garden of Eden, which G-d had prepared as a wedding canopy. Rosh Hashanah is thus the birthday and wedding anniversary of humanity.

Although finding your soul mate and relating to him or her is no simple matter, there are times more favorable than others. The first of these is Rosh Hashanah.

We refer to Rosh Hashanah in our prayers as Yom HaZikaron, commonly translated as the “day of remembrance,” but which more literally means the “day of memory." On Rosh Hashanah, G-d not only evaluates us as we are in this world, but also remembers us as we were before our souls descended into our bodies.

On Rosh Hashanah we are given the power to remember and sense our precise origin in G-d’s infinite light. This origin is the common soul-root we share with our spouse.

Besides Rosh Hashanah, the collective birthday of mankind, our personal soul-root, or mazal, is particularly accessible on our individual birthday. Similar to Rosh Hashanah, our birthday is thus another favorable time for identifying, or remembering, our soul mate. Under the wedding canopy, a couple’s soul-root shines in all its splendor, and draws down blessing and Divinely inspired consciousness, or memory, of their essential oneness. Like Rosh Hashanah, a couple’s anniversary is an auspicious time for them to remember their common soul-root.

We can realize the great resources and potential our soul possesses, most of which are still untapped, since the soul is infinite and unbounded
These special days are most conducive to remembering the origin of our individual soul and the soul-root we share with our spouse.

A way to reach this level of remembering is to meditate and reflect on the reality that the source of our soul is “an actual part of G-d above." We can realize the great resources and potential our soul possesses, most of which are still untapped, since the soul is infinite and unbounded. This meditation makes us keenly aware of our common task on earth and gives us the spiritual strength to make the right choices in the steadfast progression toward our goals.

In day-to-day life, this remembering is reflected in a couple’s unique hopes and aspirations, as well as those for their family and those upon whom they have a positive influence.

This is why it’s so important when looking for your soul mate to seek out the one criterion that will most clearly identify, albeit indirectly, the possession of a common soul-root: do you strive in the same way to realize the same ideals? Along with a general sense of mutual affinity and attraction, soul mates enjoy shared goals in life. A good sign that two soul mates have found each other is that each becomes excited when they discuss their common future, ideals and objectives in life.

“Oneness" in their past, present and future is what defines a truly predestined—bashert—couple. They share a common soul-root (their past), common goals (their future) and always (in the present) remember their precise origin as they strive to fulfill their common purpose.

Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh is a renowned Kabbalist, author and composer. He is founder of Gal Einai Institute in Israel and the head of yeshivahs in Shechem, Jericho, Hebron and Jerusalem. His books include The Alef Beit and The Mystery of Marriage. His teachings are available at


  • 1. Midrash VaYikrah Rabah beginning Parshah 29 (on Emor)
  • 2. Midrash Rabba Breishis 14:7


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Life Cycle » Marriage » About
Holidays » Rosh Hashanah » Essays

Rosh Hashanah
The Jewish New Year. An early autumn two day holiday marking the creation of Adam and Eve. On this day we hear the blasts of the ram's horn and accept G-d's sovereignty upon ourselves and the world. On Rosh Hashanah we pray that G-d should grant us all a sweet New Year.
The first man, created by G-d on the sixth day of creation. He was banished from the Garden of Eden after eating from the forbidden fruit of the forbidden knowledge. Died in 2830 BCE.
Established by King David to be the eternal capital of Israel. Both Temples were built there, and the third Temple will be situated there when the Messiah comes.
It is forbidden to erase or deface the name of G-d. It is therefore customary to insert a dash in middle of G-d's name, allowing us to erase or discard the paper it is written on if necessary.